Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
