Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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