You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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