I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
