ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
