I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
