it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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