More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She bit a glass in half.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
