You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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