She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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