Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
