i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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