i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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