Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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