Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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