I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
