But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
