he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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