wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
