You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
