I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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