You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
