Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
