too bad you live with your parents still
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
