This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
