Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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