he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
