Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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