Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
