every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I looked at my own cervix.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think your dad took our porno
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
