somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
tell me about the eggs
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
