AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
