I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am naked and annoyed.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
