My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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