come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
