Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
