And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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