i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
