I could have mohawked her pubes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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