This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
