she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
