just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
