the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
