need another drink. this is the easiest way
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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