Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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