Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
