I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
