there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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