you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
