I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
