my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize