so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
