So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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