: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
