Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
bring money and cleavage
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
