Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
