just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
