I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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