Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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