Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
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