He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
