If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
