he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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