Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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